Or that is how I reason it. The number of reasons I have for coming to this conclusion is for me the sum total of my life’s entire internal narrative. Every thought, dream, vision I ever have had is the sum conclusion of why I believe this to be true.
In looking back at my life in honestly trying to answer the question “Off all the people in the world, out of 7 billion, to have come up with this idea. Why me?” After all I am not a professional cosmologist, physicist or mathematician. This really is not my lively hood.
In fact of all the thousand and one myriads of human psychologies to have this idea my psychology is by far the worst. Where most people would expect that being someone who could spawn such an idea would make them happy this for me has been hell, quite literally.
And let me be straight up truthful with you. In the genesis of this idea I was given vision in my mind of things talked about in the Bible. From Genesis to Revelations, Dante’s Divine Comedy on steroids, I was shown the expanse of all things and in turn reacted. One reaction was to try and throw my idea to the wolves in order to nullify it by any means possible.
But it didn’t nullify. Rather it grew stronger and stronger the more I researched.
As overtly religious in nature as the genesis of this idea was I held to my core belief. That is, of understanding the world by use of the scientific method. It was human I thought that in thinking about the moment of creation that it is only natural to meditate on God and His nature. After all religion had played its part in scarring and shaping my psychology.
In fact, looking back it was because of this one thing way back in my childhood that saw me upon this path. The act of ostracism for being a devil worshipper. Imagine being a ten year old kid labelled and treated as such for reading a Harry Potter book. It was after all the only time when religion had any real say or impact in my life.
But in turn it set in motion the character building process of the man I am today. In being shunned I learned to enjoy my own company. It was here that I first really learnt about science and I was a natural. What didn’t help was coming first or nearly so in every end of term exam. But the focus of the school placed an emphasis more on rugby and religion rather than a good education.
As you can imagine I was and am the typical geek when such a thing truly wasn’t cool. If its not Star Wars it was Lord of the Rings for me. Rather than the Bible my religious book was Tolkien’s Silmarillion. After that it was Dungeon and Dragons, I mean if your going to rebel and worship the devil as a kid you might as well go all the way.
And it was here that I spent most of my free time playing about with the BBC Micros in the computer lab which conveniently had a working electric radiator.
“Everyone has a book in them” to quote Hitchens. But when the punchline of that book is evidence of a Type-V alien life form it certainly becomes a tale worth telling. My tale began in those years as I grew to be a man.
One particular question dug into my mind after a fourth year biology class. Is there an afterlife? We had just watched a video of people from all over the world describing various near death experiences. What had caught my imagination was that it was the same story again and again.
They would describe how they left their body floating upwards towards a tunnel of light. Upon the other side of that tunnel they either met their God or were reunited with loved ones. A few on the other hand described a dark tunnel, a mouth of despair.
What really caught my imagination was that those accounts which had a religious dimension were specific to a given religion. Meaning that Buddhists described meeting Buddha. Muslims talked about coming into the presence of Allah. Christians talk about meeting Christ.
It kind of puts the idea of their being one true religion out of commission. But it was in this observation that put the idea into my mind. If there is an afterlife why cannot you invent your own? My imagination is my imagination after all and here I am my own God the author of my own destiny.
So like Tolkien and George RR Martin I began constructing my own detailed fantasy world inside my head. Storylines, characters, places, events stretched out over a five thousand year story ark. Born from this initial thought, my imaginary afterlife.
Off course when it comes to original sin I certainly top the list. I was my own God bound to no other destined for high adventure against my own made up dark lord. The product arrogance of an adolescent imagination. I was no God but a teenage kid.
But it was this thought that really propelled me forward. “You who think you are a God. Prove it!”
Sitting here now after all that has occurred. I think “Well I’ve got an anti-grail that’s more or less Pandora’s box.” feeling like Robert Langdon. Though in the next section I will begin by defining some new words in order to describe that which has not been defined. All the while spray painting my name into our collective Genesis story, as told by science, and then sum. Funny old world!